I’m 40 And I Don’t Know What To Do With Life

Over the past 22 years I've made many horrible decisions, all which led me to where I am today.

In 1994 I graduated high school and took a year off to figure out what I wanted to do with life. Mistake number one. I had a vague idea of what I wanted to do with myself. I enjoyed creative writing and wanted to pursue a career in journalism. But, I also enjoyed cooking, so the culinary arts also intrigued me.

Since I had no money and zero guidance from my parents, I worked at a local restraunt as a grill cook in the evenings while taking classes at the local community college during the day. I was an average student, but my biggest mistake in life was ditching college to work full time as a cook. My dumbass got hung up with “friends” who did nothing but bring me down.

 

There is a saying, “you are the sum total of the people you spend your time with”. Or something like that. Well, I was a total pile of shit. I spent 60 hours a week working in a hot kitchen for minimum wage, just to piss it away on fancy cars, weekend drug and drinking binges and loads of other bullshit that in no way contributed to making me a better person.

Eventually I came to my senses. For the next 9 months I paid off all my debt, sold my 92 Electric Blue Camaro (which I was making payments on) and bought pick up truck for 200$. I quit my job and saved enough money to live for six months without having to work. I lived with my parents, paid no rent and had no bills. It was time to get my shit together. I was twenty two years old. My sabbatical led me to ponder joining the service. The branch, Coast Guard. I had all my paperwork in order, I was on my way to sign my life to the Coast Guard. But first, I wanted a slice of pizza.

 

I stopped at a local pizza shop I had never noticed before. The owner and I started talking and one thing led to another, and there I was managing a pizza shop. Big mistake, but it did lead me to meet my future wife and love of my life.

Suddenly I was twenty-three years old with an apartment, girlfriend, stepson and a baby on the way. I worked a horrible job as a fry cook and was in debt up to my ears.

We took advice and moved to another state. The girlfriend became my wife, the children started growing up and after eight years of ups and downs in the south, we moved back to my home state to care for my sickly father. Bad decision after bad decision has now left me three months away from forty years old with a dismal future on the horizon.

 

I work as a maintenance guy at a mobile home park. The boss is an 80 year old bully who's accomplished a great deal of success in his life, but his entire life has been spent telling other people what to do. In his twilight years he refuses to accept his mind and body are no longer what they once were. He is forgetful, angry, fragile and sickly. Imagine Mr Burns from the Simpsons. If I could film the madness that is my daily job, you would be amazed. Those stories will indeed be fodder for future blog posts.

 

In my mid 30's I was fat, and got fit thanks to P90X. My love for fitness led me to become a personal trainer. I worked my ass off for almost five years as a fitness coach, personal trainer and group fitness instructor. I took a class of three people and built a small empire. It was my dream job. But it all ended when the bosses wife decided she wanted to be a trainer as well. I opened my own gym, failed tremendously and learned a lot. Now in life, I'm done with the gym. It was a rough go. I had fun, but as far as the training and fitness business go, I'm retired. I work on keeping myself fit, and I still workout with a team Superhuman. Support systems are amazing.

I hate what I do for a living, I have no love for my home town. I want a change in life. I need one. However, I'm stuck. I have no degree, no great job skills. The failure at the gym was it. There is no fight left in this dog for the fitness business.

My goal is move to a new location. I also want to travel more, and I am doing that, Colorado, Washington State and and Oregon are all on the list this year. Colorado is already planned and in the can. Washington state is next. I've always been fascinated with these states, and am looking forward to finding a new home. There's a plan in motion, it will take a bit of time, but I've always been someone who strives for better.

 

I hate working like a dog, but I've picked up some part time work and the extra cash all goes toward travel and savings. My goal is to be able to write full time, and with this blog I've launched that venture. It's something I'm passionate about. I'm sure there are many others out there in life forty years old and wondering if there's more to life. People feeling trapped, lost and depressed. I refuse to feel that way. I have my ups and downs for sure, but I have always been somebody who strives for better. Life at forty should be a new beginning if you need one. It is for me.

I'm looking for what I want to do with life after forty, if you are too, join me on the journey, share with me your thoughts and ideas.

Thanks for reading and please comment below or share this post!

 

 

 

35 Things I Learned In My Thirties

The wind was howling from the west. Snow pelted my cheeks, coating my beard and and eyebrows in a blanket of white. The climb up this mountain has been treacherous. There was no path leading to the summit, I had to forge my way through. I never imagined I would encounter such adventures on this trip. I’ve been attacked by vicious animals, eaten alive and shit back out. Many times I took a wrong turn, ended up in a dark cave, only to find the route was a dead end, turning back and starting again, again and again.

I’ve met natives who went above and beyond to help me through rushing rivers, and assist me battling demons and other undesirables who seek to mislead me on the first part of this journey.

There have been times where I was held captive by people, imprisoned and persecuted. I’ve failed myself and others more times than I can count.

Here I stand at the summit of the mountain. At the time of this writing I am 5 months from my 40th birthday. I have accomplished great things, I have failed tremendously. As I look back at the last forty years, I see a the valley of my past, my legacy so far. My life is nothing that I wanted it to be. I have a wonderful family, and wouldn’t trade them for anything. But career wise, financially, and with time, I am a failure.

However, forty will be different for me. I’m committed to an enormous life change, one that will give me immense freedom and happiness.

Here are the 35 lessons I learned in life. Shit I wish I would have know twenty years ago.

1.Collect memories. You can collect and buy all kinds of shit in life. Ultimately, you become a slave to these things. I’ve had tons of “stuff” and no fun because I constantly worked to pay for it all. Once I stopped collecting stuff and started collecting memories, life became a bit more peaceful.

2. Workout Your physical well being is so important. You don’t need to crossfit or weightlift, but find something physical to challenge your body everyday. Run, row, something.

3. Always be learning. Continue learning. There are millions of books, blogs, and articles out there on self improvement. Make an effort to improve yourself daily.

4. Never watch the news. The nightly news is a barrage of depression and horror. Don’t watch it. If you are on social media, you’ll get news.

5. Make new friends. Don’t let friends dictate your life choices. If you have a chance to move to a new place, meet new people. Through out life, friends will come and go.

6. Watch your back. People will plot to undermine you. Be careful.

7. Have an exit strategy. Working for someone else for forty years is a horrible experience. Work on an exit strategy.

8. Appreciate art. Not just paintings, sculptures, modern and abstract art. Anything art.

9. Leave a legacy

10. Learn your roots. Find out about your ancestry. It’s an amazing journey.

11. Tell your family you love them. Daily

12. Own a dog. It wasn’t until my thirties I owned my first dog from puppyhood through adulthood. My dog can drive me crazy many times, but I love her to pieces.

13. Take care of your feet. My feet are so beat up, crusty and hurt. Pay the money for good shoes. Get a pedicure. It’s worth it. So much of your body’s pain can be based from your feet. My father has horrible feet and can barely walk. Take great care of your feet.

14. Release guilt. I harbored much guilt in my early thirties. I decided to let it go. It served no purpose.

15. Keep failing. School teaches us failing is a bad thing. It’s not. It’s a good thing.

16. Learn from your mistakes. Many times in life it seems as though you will learn the same lesson over and over again. Get used to it, and learn.

17. Friday nights out are overrated. Staying home on the weekend is one of my most treasured activities.

18. Be confident in all you do. Work, home, public. Move with confidence.

19. Laugh often

20. Say “please” and “thank you”

21. Don’t be busy. I’ve met many men who work 70 plus hours a week and wear the intense schedule like a badge of honor. These people are morons. Your mission in life should be to work less and make more.

22. Nap more.

23. Enjoy the moment

24. Embrace the suck. Life will suck. Embrace it and learn a lesson.

25. Dont buy a house. What? That’s the American Dream! It’s not. 30 plus years in financial prison is the banks dream.

26. Eliminate debt. Even if you need to file bankruptcy. If you are in such financial distress that bankruptcy is your only option, do it. Otherwise you will be pissing away money forever.

27. Say no to dumb shit. If it doesn’t sound like fun, I won’t do it.

28. Its okay to be selfish.

29. Take risks. With people, businesses, with life.

30. Start your own busines. Wether it’s MLM, a blog, something.

31. Dont give into anger.

32. Do or do not, there is no try

33. Do something for someone who can never repay you.

34. Don’t grow up. It’s a waste. Stay a kid, be responsible, but don’t grow up.

35. Loyalty. Never shit on people who have shown you immeasurable loyalty, and don’t be afraid to show some loyalty to others.

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How To Create A To Do List

A to do list really shouldn’t be complicated or stressful.  But why is it complicated and stressful for so many people?  It sounds simple enough, write down the stuff you need to do, and get it done.

Often  times we get wrapped up in clutter with the list. Prioritizing certain tasks, putting off others.

There’s also so many gurus out there, do this in these 3 easy steps and accomplish more, use this $10 app and your life will be instantly organized.
It’s all bullshit.  At least it was for me.  For years I was hit or miss with my to do list, weeks I’d do it, then months I’d slack.  The to do list is an essential key to getting your life together.  If you hate what you do for a living, you need to create an escape plan, and the todo list is the beginning of that plan.


Need to be more efficient, create a to do list.  It all starts with a list of shit you need to do.

Here is what I have done that has been most effective for me.

1.  Get an app.  Evernote is a free app that has a to do list built in.  It’s simple to use and very efficient.  If you already have an app for writing a list that’s free, use it.

2.  Create your list every night before you go to bed.  Get into the habit of doing this before you settle down to sleep.  Take five minutes and plan your day.  You will skyrocket your efficiency.  This habit is the most difficult to create.
3. Just do it.  Create a list and do it.  Everything that needs to be done for the next day goes on the list.  Don’t get the days list done, it carries over to the next day.  It’s really that simple.
This list can be a catalyst for greater things in life, more production, more free time and faster goal accomplishment.  With everything in life, you need to commit and do it, make it a habit. Good luck. Keep it Superhuman.

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How To Fail At Network Marketing

In the past dozen years I have had the pleasure of working with five multi level marketing companies (MLM) or as they may also be known network marketing or referral marketing.  I started with Amway, failed.  Quixstar, nothing.  Melaleuca zip, Herbalife and finally Beachbody.
With each company I enjoyed average to no success. Not because the company was bad, but many other factors contributed to my down fall.



Why a network marketing business?

Like everyone who enters this business model, I wanted to be able to work from home.  Who doesn’t right?  You can honestly make a great living in the MLM business.  Network Marketing really does provide an individual with an opportunity to run a legitimate business.  The great thing about these models is there is already an infrastructure in place, products, service, training, customer service, websites.  It’s all there for you to take advantage and make a great living, but…

It is a business

People fail at MLM because they do not believe it is a business.  It’s something they occasionally talk about.  Most new MLM’ers talk themselves out of the commitment within 24 hours of signing up. Wrapping your head around the fact that you own a business can be tough for some people.  You have worked all your life for someone else and now you own a business.  It becomes overwhelming and you end up sabotaging yourself before you get anywhere.

Bad up line 

Another reason many people fail at MLM is bad up line coaching.  This was the biggest reason I failed in MLM.  My coaches had no idea what they were doing.  They provided no training, no help, no motivation.  I was lost.  Many companies provide training, however these things are only going to take you so far.  It’s like someone giving you a car, but never teaching you how to drive, you see other people doing it, you have read the instruction manual, but you can’t get anywhere with it because nobody has shown you what it takes to make it work properly.  So many people become soured on the MLM model because of bad coaching.  Don’t get me wrong, there are people out there who manage to succeed without any coaching whatsoever. But the reality is, this happens to very few people.

What will “they” say

So you joined a MLM, now your coach wants you to go out and tell all your friends and family and blast social media with the news of your new venture.  Oye vey.  This sucks, and is a sure fire way to make you hate this business.  Friends and family may or may not be supportive.  You get bombarded with questions, doubts by others of your ability and in some cases mockery.  Too many people let what “they” say kill their ambition.
However, many people and family are very supportive and will do everything they can to help.  I hope that is the case for you.

Social media overload

I learned this lesson the hard way.  I can always tell when someone has joined a MLM on Facebook.  The posts go from thoughts, life activities, memes and pictures to a constant barrage of the new business in which they are involved.  These posts quickly become like static, a white noise that is an advertisement versus a journey.  People will be interested at first, maybe, but eventually you will be scrolled by and left with very little interaction.


In my experience, these are the reasons that contributed to my failure in MLM.  The great thing is, my failures have become a great learning experience.  Many companies provide you with amazing resources that not only help you grow your business, but more importantly help you become a better person in your personal life.  The books you will read, the journey you will take, will not just help you build a business, but build you as a better person.
I have learned many huge lessons with the success and failures of network marketing and hope that you find tremendous success with your company!
Thank you for taking the time to read, and please do me a favor and share with others if you think they may benefit from this article.
Stay connected and join my Superhuman newsletter, there’s no spam, no BS.  Just awesome information to help you on your journey to become Superhuman.

Organized Chaos

My life is organized chaos.  For a long time it filled me with tremendous anxiety that my home and life seemed to be embroiled in chaos.  Nothing was organized in my home, piles of mail here and there, my daughter with a sock pile by her favorite chair in the living room, the table over flowing with her junk.

My wife is great at walking in the door, dropping her purse on the counter, keys on the couch coat on the office chair then running around the house wondering where everything is when we are twenty minutes late for an appointment.  These are just a few of the things that would drive me crazy.  No organization was killing my OCD.
For the longest time I attempted to make the others around me more organized, but it was always a struggle.  Eventually, I learned the term organized chaos.

Even though everything seems to be in disarray in my house, car and life, I have learned to embrace the chaos that I swim through everyday.  Not everything and everyone is perfect especially me.

Even though my home, to do list and goals may look and seem chaotic, I have learned to thrive on organized chaos.  It has helped me to release my anxiety.  Embrace the organized chaos that may be in your life. It will be an enlightening experience.

Be Superhuman

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I want to be Superhuman. Honestly, I want to have a kick ass lifestyle. Own my own business, work from home, call the shots.

Dictionary.com defines Superhuman as the following:

adjective
1. above or beyond what is human; having a higher nature or greater powers than humans have:
a superhuman being.
2. exceeding ordinary human power, achievement, experience, etc.:
a superhuman effort.

Usually when you say Superhuman you think of people like Batman, Superman, Thor, Hulk and any other fictional character you can name.  But what about Superhumans that are not fictional characters?  People who achieve amazing feats of strength and endurance, intellectual Superhumans such as Steven Hawking. There are business Superhumans, technology Superhumans, the list can go on.
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But what about the average guy?  How do I become Superhuman?  Get strong? Lift weights?  How about immeasurable wealth and power.  I’m pushing forty and the last thing I really care about is incredible wealth.  Would I love to be rich? Fuck yes. Who wouldn’t?  Again, for me being Superhuman is more than that.

As I look back on the past I realize I fucked up a ton of shit in my life. I’m far from the Superhuman I envisioned myself to be. At 17 years old,  I remember being full if so many big dreams.  The sky was the limit, the world my oyster.  However, things went wrong along the way.  Bad decisions, lots of them.  Procrastination.  Loyalty to the wrong people.  Poor choice of friends.  Those are things are just the tip of the iceberg that landed me in a life of shit.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love where I am in life now.  My children are doing fantastic and my wife is truly my Pepper Potts.  Without all my ass backwards decisions in life I wouldn’t have them.
However, I would have preferred to be in a better situation in life.

Working 9-5 in a job that literally eats away the joy in your soul, for a paycheck that barely allows you a vacation a year sucks ass.  If you are in this situation you know what I mean.  It really makes you fell very un-superhuman.  So, I got tired of living a mediocre painful existence. I decided I wanted to be Superhuman.

But, where the hell do I begin?  Seriously?  How do I become Superhuman?  Is it too late? Am I too old?  Nope.  Not at all.

Before I go further, let’s start from the. Beginning.

Who am I
It has been almost a dozen years now, I was driving down the road, stuffing my face.  There was a nice glaze of glistening Krispy Kreme donut goodness caked to beard, my gut provided a great shelf for any morsel of food that didn’t make it down my gullet.

I caught a glimpse of this gluttony and had a moment. A moment where I realized I was a fat pig. Again. Peering into my rear view mirror, glaze shining on my cheeks, I had a sad view into how disgusting I was.  This was not the first time my grossness disturbed me. Like always, I would say I need to get in shape, but never really commit to anything other than a bag of chips and a six pack.

At home I would see my fatness in the mirror, clothes shopping had become another moment where I realized I was a slob. My waist was pushing forty inches and I began to develop man boobs.  But still I procrastinated. What really got me was the view of food dripping from my chops like blood from the jaws of a wolf feeding on a fresh kill.  Only my kill was sugary goodness and hot donut glaze. I had to do something.

For Christmas my lovely wife purchased me the VHS version of Power 90.  I dove in with both feet and in 90 days lost 20 lbs. not bad, but like many I lost motivation and gained 25 back.
So I spent another year fat before a trip to Disney World snapped me back to reality.  Going through the photos I found a picture of me so vomitus that it super charged my motivation.

Fitness Created Discipline

By starting a regimented fitness program I began to form positive habits in my life.  It took small increments of discipline in the beginning, but I began an effect that would begin to snowball into other aspects of my life.

Once you truly commit to a program, whether it’s fitness, food change or anything else you want to Superhuman in your life, you need to be disciplined.

Before I started a program to work out and lose weight, I was a fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy.  I had no real plans for life.  Dreams, aspirations and wishes most certainly.  But I was a master procrastinator and had zero discipline.  Those were just a few of the issues that landed me in the shit.  For the first time in years I found something that easily spelled out what workout to do, and a simple eating plan.  This was the catalyst I needed to begin change in my life. The superhuman seed had been planted.

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From Zero To Hero
After a year on the at home dvd series power 90 and two rounds of p90x I was feeling and looking good.  It was time to put my body to the test. I entered tough Mudder before the OCR world really exploded. This was a 10 mile course that involved running, swimming and mud.  The race kicked my ass. But I completed it, and that was my only goal. To finish.  However, I realized I had much more work to do.

I was intrigued by what my mind and body could be pushed to accomplish.  I wanted to do more.

The Iron Man Factor
I’m a huge Iron Man fan.  This fandom started my obsession with becoming Superhuman.  Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and financially as well.  For me being Superhuman has become an evolution.  A continuous effort to build and rebuild myself in order to reach my goals.

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What’s Keeping You Alive Is Also Killing You
I’m a firm believer that the American lifestyle of working 9-5, five days a week for fifty plus years is a disgusting way to to exist.  It’s not superhuman to be under the thumb of another persons rule.  I hated working for another person.  Being treated by a boss who seemed more like a babysitter treating me like I am a child drove me insane.  Humans aren’t meant to be confined in such a manner.  My driving goal for a long time is to be able to leave the natural order of the work force and be the master of my own destiny.  One way or another, I refuse to let life pass me by in misery.

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Control Time
To be superhuman you must control your day to day activity. Working under the rule of a company or another individual usually is the most hated experience. Now some of you are fortunate enough to have a job you love, and don’t work a day in your life.  But the reality of life is 92% of the population hates what they do for a living.  Much of my adult working life has been spent being ruled by another person.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  I tried and failed at almost a dozen network marketing companies. Not because the business model was bad.  It was because I sucked.  I’m not affiliated with any network marketing or MLM companies but I believe 100% that these companies are a massive opportunity to obtain financial freedom.  The key is to find the right company and training model for you.

I want to be the master of my own time and destiny.  That is Superhuman. Waking up everyday and running the schedule as you see fit.  No corporate rules, no time clock.
Control time.

Minimalist vs Consumer
At one time I owned a nice home, had two cars, dogs, cats, kids wife, decent job, the whole nine yards.  I had reached the dream right? Wrong. I felt empty. Sure I was keeping up with the Jones, but it was so unfulfilling.  I wanted more. But less.  Nothing lasts forever, and the only thing you take with you is memories.  I began to shift my focus in life from having more to doing and experiencing more.  Accumulate things that last forever, memories.  Now I rent a house, have very little in the way of possessions and decor or fancy furniture.  This has freed me from the revolving door of debt that keeps so many people enslaved to a horrible soul sucking career.  For me, being a minimalist is definitely helped my Superhuman evolution.

What About The Children?
If you have children, please make it a priority to pass down your knowledge.  They should be Superhuman as well.  There is no great instruction manual on how to raise kids that I have found.  My best advice, don’t let your kid be an asshole.  My parents were sheltered and naive. I grew up like a veal.  Stuck in a box until I was about seventeen.  My father never spoke of politics, economics, world news or anything.  My mother was a stay at home mom, but she had little guidance about life for me as well.  I was fed, clothed, sheltered and loved.  They made sure I got through high school but never really had any expectations for me. My fathers only advice was to get a job with benefits.  And that’s what I did.  I’m nineteen years old, have a decent job, so naturally I asked my father now what do I do in life.  He had nothing.  No advice.  He threw me to the wolves and I was eaten alive.  Don’t throw your children to the wolves.

Continuing Education
Be educated. Reading books was what really began the development of my Superhuman mind.  I don’t mean take an algebra class or some shit. Want to learn how to be more organized, there’s a book for that.  Or blog, or YouTube video.  Today the resources to help you achieve anything you want are all over the web.  Your own personal development should be a priority In your life on the daily.  Spend at the least twenty minutes a day reading or learning something that will assist you in becoming Superhuman.  It’s a non stop process. Keep learning.

Legacy
Legacy is something important to me. I also believe it’s very Superhuman.  Leaving something behind that makes the world a better place should be everybody’s priority.  Wether it’s a journal that you leave to your children or paintings or a charitable foundation.  Make it a goal to leave something positive behind for the next generation.

Hustle
There is no way you can be Superhuman without hustling.  And I don’t mean running or getting through a work out quickly.  It’s the ability to keep yourself on fire to achieve your goals.  To suck up the extra time to educate yourself, put off the party, and invest in you.  Work overtime if you need too at the job.  Everything you do must push you towards your Iron Goal.  The goal that drives you daily.

Goals
If you don’t set goals forget about being Superhuman.  You need to have a map to get you were your going.  You need one when you travel, you need one for life.  If you are in the shit, and have a miserable existence, it’s most likely because you float through life, rolling with the punches.  Fuck that theory.  I know from experience it’s a recipe for failure.  Get on a program that helps you set goals and do it, that’s what it takes to be Superhuman.

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Embrace The Suck
If you were like me there’s a point in life where almost everything sucks.  Of course there is a lot of good in life, family, friends etc.  but there’s things that suck. Work, debt, hating where you live. You need to embrace the suck.  Embrace it, but realize life won’t always suck. If you allow stress and anxiety to creep into your life, it will not make your days any better.  Embrace the suck, but keep moving towards your goals. Work to be free.

Be Superhuman
Life is not meant to be trudged through. It’s meant to be conquered. If you are trudging through a horrible job, marriage or anything that drains your happiness, it’s not to late to decide to be Superhuman.  Age is just a number, it’s never to late to write a new chapter in your life.

Being a Superhuman is a choice, a lifestyle.  It’s beginning a commitment to be a better human being, the best human you can be.  To conquer all aspects of life.  Become a master of your time and destiny, there are countless opportunities out there for starting a new business, a new career or new fitness program.

Start today, join a gym, buy a book.  Do something. Decide to be Superhuman.  Think about what being superhuman means to you.  Follow the famous Nike slogan and just do it.

You get one shot on this earth. This is your only chance at life.  Why not live it on your terms? Join the evolution, be Superhuman.

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